How 'Bout That Ride In?

We spent many long nights planning this trip together. Our journey was built from scratch, so we were responsible for arranging every flight, hotel, and tour. Over the course of our planning process not everything was easy to figure out, and we did not agree on every plan, but the most contentious of all issues was our means of travel from Siem Reap to Bangkok. We ultimately decided in favor of a bus ride.

The drive from Siem Reap to Bangkok is long. But it’s not the length of the bus trip that concerned us. We flew 16 hours to Hong Kong, so we can handle a long bus ride. The issue with this bus ride is that it’s indefinitely long. As in anywhere from 5 to 12 hours. The roads are not well kept, and traffic flows in six directions, but the real kicker is getting through customs at the Thai border. Our research told us that crossing the border could take anywhere from 5 minutes to 4 hours, depending on factors ranging from the volume of passer-throughs to the mood of the Thai customs officials.

Thankfully, we were in great hands with our guide Mr. T for the entirety of our stay in Cambodia. T and his driver were with us nearly every hour of the day. They accompanied us to every site and meal, and recommended what we do in the night time. So when Mr. T told us that he had arranged for our transportation to Bangkok, we were relieved of our worries. When he told us that our bus would have air conditioning and TV’s, you could even say we were excited.

On our last morning in Siem Reap, we visited a house with a crocodile pit in the backyard, took a boat ride down Tonle Sap Lake and rode horses through the rice fields of the countryside, before hurrying back to the hotel to shower, pack, and board the bus (all before noon!).

No safety rails.

T dropped us at the transit stop and helped us board a small, dingy “shuttle bus,” which was to take us to our glorious Korean TV bus. T told us that the Korean bus would take us on a two-hour ride to the Thai border where we would switch to a different bus with the rest of the passengers. We were all full of that child-like curious energy you rarely get to experience as an adult. Would the bus’s HDTVs have satellite reception? If there’s WiFi, will they give us the password? Surely the seats recline into beds, but will there be masseuses?

As the shuttle bus drove around to pick up the other passengers and the stack of bags next to Steve’s feet grew taller, our worries grew as well. Mostly because this was just like our shuttle bus to Ha Long Bay earlier in the week, only the exact opposite. That bus stopped at some of the most luxurious hotels in Hanoi. I’m pretty sure that the South African family who hopped on board had royal bloodlines. The only South Africans on this bus were stoned out of their minds and smelled like they hadn’t showered since last Wednesday. Their filthy backpacks crushed our luggage, shattering my six new pairs of fake Ray Bans.

*In Bangkok we saw these guys in our hotel lobby, then they ate dinner three tables from us in the same restaurant, then the next morning they walked into our hotel as we walked out. Same clothes every time.

And then a funny thing happened. That dingy shuttle bus never took us to Disneyland. This was our ride. No TV’s or masseuses. My excitement turned to feelings of anger, so I channeled those feelings into sarcasm and began writing this blog. At this point I was only curious about things like, “Is this bag going to tumble down and kill me while I am sleeping? And, “Can a bus give me HIV?” Never mind that this van had just 16 seats, all 20 of us squeezed together and made way for the Thai border. We did not hold hands and sing We Are the World.

An hour into the ride, after Steve and Jeff fell asleep facing each other with their heads six inches apart, the two French ladies to my right shrieked in horror. Apparently there was a mouse (Mickey?) on board. When we stopped for a bathroom break ten minutes shy of the Thai border, a tattooed man who looked like a cross between Jeff Bridges in True Grit and Jeff Bridges in Crazy Heart told the bus driver “here is good,” grabbed his belongings and disappeared into the countryside. He was wearing a cowboy hat, sunglasses, and a washed out pair of jean shorts and hadn’t said a word the entire trip. I just hope that whatever criminal charges he was fleeing were not of the violent nature.

When we arrived at the border we were pretty confused, but followed what seemed to be the natural flow of things. It only took about 20 minutes to cross into Thailand, where, as promised, a man was waiting to receive us and the rest of the passengers from the first bus ride. After waiting for 20 minutes, we packed our bags into the back of a pickup truck and headed down the road to meet our next bus. Steve, Jeff, and I sat in the bed of the truck. We stopped at a restaurant, where a dispatcher greeted us and sent off the first dozen passengers in a luxurious van. The dispatcher told us that we would have to wait for the last two passengers to arrive, but would leave in 30 minutes.

Unbeknownst to the dispathcher, one of the other passengers we were waiting on was stuck in customs because she did not have a visa to cross into Thailand. Jeff and I grew impatient trying to explain the situation, and our interaction with the dispatcher went something like this:

Us: “Sir, we were right in front of her in line. She can’t get across without a visa. The other group left already. First you told us to we’d leave in 30 minutes, now it’s been almost an hour. How long are you planning to wait?”

Dispatcher: (Brandishing gun) “Everything okay friend. We wait, we wait. She pay too, we not leave her behind.”

Us: “Whoa, whoa!”

Dispatcher: “Ohh, this is toy.” (knocks on gun, showing that it’s made of plastic).

At 5:15pm, a van finally pulled up to take us to Bangkok. Instead of the couple we had been waiting for, four random Thai girls piled into the back row of seats to fill out our travel party. This van was actually pretty comfortable, but the driver was insane. Steve sat shotgun and saw the speedometer top out at 145km/hr (90mph, I looked it up). We felt like we were on a rollercoaster. I expected a flashing sign reading New Record to pop out. (Heeeeere weeeee goooo, its craaaaaaazy taxi!) But we survived the five hour drive and checked into our hotel at 10:15 p.m., 11 hours after our departure.

The problems that we had with our Bangkok hotel went way beyond standard language barrier issues. I could write a long-winded explanation but I worry it would come off as spiteful or whiny and that's not what this space is for. That's why we have TripAdvisor. Just don't stay at the Dang Derm Inn on Khaosan Road and we’ll call it even.

Yesterday we spent 4 hours with our guy Raj at R+R Apparel picking out custom suits and learning about the fabric industry. The experience was a lot of fun, and if the suits look good we’ll each be able to say “I have a suit guy.”

Last night was pretty low key, we just ordered virgin daquiris and watched a movie in our hotel room. Steve drank two! The sugar influx really had him bouncing off the walls. Just kidding, but what happens in Bangkok...

After a sound night’s sleep (about 20 minutes), we left our hotel at 4:30am to fly to the beautiful island of Koh Samui for a vacation from our vacation. The cab ride to the Bangkok airport took 45 minutes, the flight to Surat Thani took an hour, the cab ride to the Surat Thani ferry took 45 minutes, the ferry to Koh Samui took another hour, and we arrived at our hotel around noon. That might not add up to 7 and a half hours of travel but I would not know which part to adjust because we literally slept the entire way.

The beaches here are incredible so it was well worth the journey. Stay tuned for updates.

Cue closing credits...

Siem Reap: Legends of the Hidden Temple

Truthfully, I didn’t know Cambodia was a country until a few weeks ago. Considering Kansas does not teach evolution, this shouldn't come as a huge surprise. Cambodia is a land filled with thousand-year-old temples, hidden trails, Buddhist and Hindu monasteries, rice paddies, tuk tuks and fake Ray Bans. The country’s treasures have been remarkably well preserved over the past thousand years, even against the backdrop of war and genocide.

On Saturday, we landed in Siem Reap airport, which was the second smallest airport I’ve ever been in, right behind Laos’ (our layover stop). In order to gain access to Cambodia and Vietnam, you just arrange for visas through very credible websites such as SmileTravelVietnam.com and LuckyVietnamVisa.com. As it turned out, Cambodian customs was a synch because, although this was the only country where we had to declare our belongings and cash, the customs officer was off for the day. To be fair, it was the weekend.

Up until now, we’ve enjoyed a relatively causal, carefree touring schedule. Cambodia was different. My friend Eric had put us in touch with a guide named Mr. T a few weeks ago, and with T we arranged for an action-packed four day tour. We seem to have a knack for finding guides with one letter names. T was waiting for the three of us at the airport with a 12 passenger air conditioned Shag-Mobile.

Our first stop was the 9th century Rolous Group temple site, where we saw three Hindu temples: Lolei, Preah Ko and Bakong. Kings commissioned the construction of nearly every one of the 300 temples in the Angkor area and the 4,000 temples in Cambodia to honor the legacies of themselves and their ancestors. Each temple offers a unique architectural design, with meticulous attention to detail and well preserved carvings.

Interestingly, although the Buddhist and Hindu temples were created during a period of mutual respect and understanding, in the 11^th century, a Hindu king decreed the destruction of all Buddha statues in the Angkor area. So nearly every Buddha statue and carving in these temples – and there are thousands – has been removed or defaced in some manner.

On Day 2, we visited Angkor Thom, the ancient capital city of the Khmer Empire, where we saw Bayon, Baphoun, Terrace of the Elephants, Terrace of the Leper King, Rhimeanakas and the Royal Enclosing Wall. After lunch, we visited the jungle temple of Ta Prohm. In Ta Prohm, towering trees literally grow from the tops of the temple stones.

With all of the temples starting to blend together, it was time for a change of pace, so T arranged for us to do an ATV tour through the Cambodian countryside. Upon our arrival at Cambodia Quad Adventure, a French man (Cambodia was a French colony until 1953) walked us through the basics on how to operate an ATV, and then to confirm our driving competence, we each went on a short tandem ride with a guide aboard the back of the vehicle. This wasn’t a test per se, simply a way for us to get accustomed to the ATV before the tour. That didn’t stop Cymerman from failing (he had some trouble steering his ATV, which took him all of 15 seconds to figure out once we left the compound for the tour). His penalty? One Cambodian riding partner. With a man holding his waste for the entirety of our two hour ATV ride, Steve bonded with his new friend like son with father. As they glided through the open air of the countryside, Steve and his best friend contemplated contemporary issues such as bumps in the road, water buffalo prevalence and steering techniques. During breaks, Steve’s companion unhooked his helmet, fed him water and massaged his back while he urinated (not true, but the bathroom attendants do that here. It’s incredibly uncomfortable).

During our ride we stopped at an orphanage and met Nek. Nek is an extremely intelligent 10-year-old orphan, fluent in English and Cambodian and learning Mandarin and Japanese. Lang thought about adopting him Angelina Jolie-style, but instead settled on a donation. Together, we think we may have fed the orphanage for a month. Nek showed us around his orphanage/school, which is how we came across their reading comprehension passage for the week, a multiple choice exam on Justin Bieber. I learned that Justin Bieber is a good role model because (A) he has a 4.0 GPA and wants to go to college and not because (C) He is friends with Usher and dresses really nice or (D) he only cares about money and fame. And never to say never.

During our ride, we passed by many houses, temples and locals. For whatever reason, the little kids here love ATVs so much so that when they hear the bikes coming, they sprint from their homes to the side of the road, to wave and flash peace signs. Naked babies included. Our responsive waving became so natural that we also waved at passing chickens, water buffalo, motorcyclists and rice paddies. Steve’s co-rider was in on the waving, too. Which reminds me… did I mention that Steve failed his ATV driving test and had to ride with a guide on the back of his seat?

After our tour, T brought us to an area where hundreds of monkeys freely roam and accept food from tourists. Or so we thought. After enjoying my time feeding some well-behaved friendly monkeys, I was chased back to the van by a violent one-eyed monkey who had no interest in bananas. Sorry I’m not sorry.

That night, we went to Pub Street for an authentic Khmer meal and chowed down on some grilled Frog. The first frog was delicious, so at $1 a pop we ordered some more. But after once again running the highest tab this restaurant has ever seen (no more than $10 a person), a few frogs lived to see another meal, as the restaurant forgot to bring out the extras.

After dinner, we headed to the night market and engaged in some lively conversation with locals. To clarify, conversation between Americans and Cambodians is very simple. They, and this applies from everyone to little kids and sales people to masseuses, speak Khmer and their English is limited to the following words: I love you, handsome, same same, beautiful. Popular phrases include “No beautiful, no boyfriend,” “are you married? Marry me” and “you buy from me, my name is Angelina Jolie, I over there.”

What better way to relax after a large meal than a foot massage? Massages are everywhere here and masseuses vary in skill. At these ubiquitous foot massage stations, you sit down with your feet in the water as hundreds of tiny fish literally eat the dead skin off your feet. It sounds as disgusting as it felt, but the Cambodians assured us that it’s good for your feet and makes them “smooth as baby bottom.” I was flattered, however, that the fish seemed to stay away from my feet for the most part. After some post-massage research we realized that maybe it’s better to stick to (un)trained masseuses as the fish-massage practice is banned in 14 US states.

Yesterday morning we woke up at 4am to watch the sun rise over the magnificent Angkor Wat. This was the earliest I’ve ever woken up for anything other than traveling or pledging, but it was totally worth it. Angkor Wat is the world’s largest religious building and biggest tourist attraction in Cambodia. It was built in the 12^th century as a Hindu temple and then turned Buddhist centuries later.

While exploring Angkor Wat with T, we learned about the recent history of Cambodia. T himself is a walking history book, as he survived the reign of the evil Pol Pot, who terrorized Cambodia during the Khmer Rouge’s reign (1975-1979) by murdering more than 2 million Cambodians (the population was 8 million). During that period, T spent two years living with his family and other Cambodian refugees at Angkor Wat. As he put it, they were “chickens in a cage waiting to be eaten.” In 1979, the Khmer Rouge were forced from power and retreated to the Cambodian jungle, where they continued to terrorize the country until Pol Pot’s death in 1998.

After our history lesson, I put my PennQuest skills to work as we hiked to a waterfall and jungle where a riverbed contains incredible underwater sculptures of ancient Gods and Linga and Yoni symbols. If you were wondering, those are sexual symbols. Much of the ancient history of these places involves sexuality. For example, the Kings, considered Gods, had 2,000 concubines ready for them at all times. I have learned many wilderness survival skills through PennQuest, but I think our instructors must have glossed over the “what to do if you’re walking in a dense jungle that was filled with landmines no more than 14 years ago.” We survived, but were tempted to explore more explosives later that afternoon at the shooting range.

After visiting a smaller temple named Banteay Srei , we could think of no better way to cap off our afternoon than to drive our Shag-Mobile into the heart of a Cambodian military base and fire an M80 machine gun. Larger and more powerful than an M16 (a common US Military weapon), the M80 is, frankly, scary. We were greeted at a hut filled with all sorts of guns, including five foot long rocket launchers (apparently in Phnom Phen, Cambodia, you can pay $350 to launch one of these at a cow). Riding ATVs in Cambodia requires signing a waiver, shooting deadly automatic weapons does not. #ThingsThatDontHappenInAmerica.

Cymerman took the first 20 shots while our cameraman, a non-English speaking Cambodian solider, took pictures of him. Lang and I were standing 10 feet behind him, holding onto our ear muffs and clinging to the the door of the indoor shooting room. I was next up. After my first shot, I could feel the sheer power of the gun recoil against my body. Two bullets deep, I couldn’t wait to be done with the other 18 and never have to touch one of these things again. After posing for a picture at what we realized was a fully loaded stationary machine gun setup, we casually exited the facility as stealthily as this guy.

Last night we took the Tigres Papier Cooking Class. We were expecting a one hour cooking tutorial, not a five hour master feast production, but it couldn’t have been any more enjoyable. Although our class was quite diverse (two Oregonians, a New Zealander, two Australians and the three of us), we were united by our love for Angkor beer ($.50 per pint).

We ventured to the markets together to buy ingredients for our dishes and try fried crickets (Lang went first and confirmed that they taste like potato chips then did his part to control the cricket population by eating about 20 more). Together, our group cooked eight main courses, salads, spring rolls and dessert (which was terrible, and I was the scapegoat). The chicken, flavored with traditional Khmer spices, was the most delicious chicken I have ever eaten.

This morning, we’re off to see the boat village and then take a horseback ride around the country side. Afterward, we make our way to Bangkok for what we have been informed is anywhere between a 5 to 12 hour bus ride. Stay tuned for our account of the trip.

Thanks for reading and as always let us know!

P.S. If you’re traveling to Cambodia, contact T, his email is thyangkor@yahoo.com.

Things that don't happen in America, continued...

After a four hour flight delay due to the typhoon and pit stop in Laos, we made it to Siem Reap, Cambodia.

The only picture we took in our 30 minute stay in Laos.

A little behind on posting, but only because our days have been a lot more extreme. Highlights include ancient ruins, ATV rides, monkeys, live grenades and a fish foot massage. Much more to come about our Cambodian adventure later.

As promised, here are some videos:

Spaniards mocking us with an apparently cross-cultural childhood chicken noise until we jumped off the deck into Ha Long Bay.

Singing "We are the World" at a Karaoke bar in Hanoi, Vietnam with Northern Vietnamese youth and our favorite tour guide Duyen.

Monkeys playing on the side of the road in Siem Reap, Cambodia. They came and took bananas out of our hands. The locals laughed at me for peeling the bananas for the monkeys-- evidently they can do so themselves.

Every Now And Duyen I Fall Apart

“If you wrote this in a script and tried to sell it to a group of Hollywood producers, they would turn you away because no one would believe it could happen.” –Joe Buck

How many times have you watched the end of a sporting event and heard an announcer make some version of the previous statement. It’s a cliché used so often that it’s clearly not true. Well right now I know how the announcers feel. I have to document the undocumentable and write a you can’t make this stuff up kind of story. I’ll do my best.

Two hundred and fifty thousand years ago, somewhere not too far off the coast of Madagascar, a butterfly probably flapped its wings. At that moment, the world’s rotation was ever so slightly skewed, and the future of mankind was permanently altered. If only that butterfly could have flown into our private room at a Vietnamese karaoke bar last night to see Steve and Jeff alternating between the male and female verses of Summer Nights while a group of Vietnamese university students tapped their feet and waved their arms in unison. How did we get here???

You must remember that on our first day in Hanoi we registered for a tour service called Hanoi Free Tour Guides. We had such a great time with our guide Duyen (Z) that she invited us to go out with her and a group of friends last night. At 5:00pm we took a short cab ride to meet Z outside of her university’s gates, where she greeted us with a group of 10 friends. In Vietnam the days start and end much earlier, so this was a normal time to go out. Z led us next door to a karaoke bar, and I ran down the block to buy some water. When I returned about 5 minutes later, everyone had disappeared except Steve, who was waiting for me outside of the bar.

“I came outside because otherwise there was no way you would find us. I can't wait for your reaction when you see this room”

I guess I have never actually been to a karaoke bar in America, but I imagine it to look like any other bar, except with a karaoke machine in the front, maybe sitting next to a small stage. To picture a karaoke bar in Vietnam, think about the private room you used to serve cake when you had your 2nd grade birthday party at the Discovery Zone. Or just look at the photo.

When we sat down, a waiter delivered song request forms. Almost every American song was listed as Artist Unknown because as Z’s friend informed us, “we just don’t know.” It would be too difficult to pick out the best moments of the night, but highlights included Steve trying to sing songs in a language he can neither speak nor read, Jeff and Z’s inspiring performance of Britney Spears’ “Oops! I did it again,” and a heartwarming rendition of “We Are the World.” The latter was actually pretty cool, when you consider that when our parents were our age, the Vietnam War had just ended, and the idea of American and Vietnamese youth singing together in a karaoke bar was (even more) unthinkable.

After eating an obscene amount of potato chips and outdrinking our counterparts by a margin of about 7 to 1, we went with Z and her roommate to grab some Pho and wrapped up the evening by 9pm. Z’s friends were hospitable, friendly, and fun, and we thank them for our most memorable night of the trip thus far

We have encountered many great people on this trip. Before meeting Z, we spent the day with Zach, who we had met on our Ha Long Bay cruise. Zach has lived in Beijing since graduating college and is preparing to return to America for law school in the fall. With him, we toured the Hanoi Hilton and ate an enormous lunch, before parting ways so that we could travel outside of Hanoi for a tour of the snake village.

Either the snake village was inspired by a low budget 1970s horror film, or a low budget 1970s horror film was inspired by the snake village. It’s a classic chicken-egg argument. Either way, this place was CREEPY. Before traveling to Hanoi, I had read about a local drink made of snake bile, snake blood, and a still-beating snake heart. Steve really wanted to find this beverage, so after asking around, we were pointed to a remote waterfront village on the outskirts of Hanoi where snake serves as the only food, garment, and currency. Just kidding about garment and currency. Anyway, with the Jaws soundtrack playing softly in the background, we drove down the highway, over a bridge, through a maze of alleyways, and pulled to a stop at a floating restaurant.

A hostess greeted us at the entrance and pointed us to a cage of slithering snakes, adjacent to some of the most pathetic looking ducks and hedgehogs you’ll ever lay your eyes on. The poor things knew they were someone’s dinner. We seriously contemplated ordering a snake, but we had just eaten lunch and the price of bile drink and grilled snake was just high enough… okay we chickened out. But we did watch a snake get brutally murdered. A butcher grabbed a feisty snake out of its cage, mouth wide open and fangs flashing, and we scattered 30 feet in about 6 different directions (our taxi driver ran too). The butcher took the snake into a small room and bashed its head into the concrete, killing it instantly, then sliced it open with a knife to rip out its insides. #thingsthatdonthappeninamerica. After the villagers realized we wouldn’t be ordering, they sent us on our way back to Hanoi. We were just happy to make it out alive. What a day.

Right now we are sitting in the Hanoi airport awaiting our flight to Siem Reap and ready to begin our four day tour of Cambodia. Thank you for reading and let us know.

The Hanoi Hilton. No, not the 5 star resort…

…although the museum would make you think it was.

Because of the typhoon, we had an extra day to explore Hanoi. We met up with Zach Chen, our friend from Chicago, whose Halong Bay cruise was also cut a day short, and went to visit the Hoa Lo Prison—a.k.a the Hanoi Hilton.

The French built the prison in 1900 when Vietnam was under French rule. Through as late as the 1950s, the French used the camp to imprison Vietnamese dissidents and insurgents. The museum highlights the harsh treatment of the French towards the Vietnamese with exhibits including a guillotine and French torture devices.

After the Indochina War and unification of Vietnam, the Vietnamese controlled the prison. The prison was relatively vacant until the Vietnam War. The North Vietnamese captured US pilots and imprisoned them here (including John McCain). What we found most interesting about the museum is the exhibit on American pilots. In a few words, it’s entirely propaganda. The exhibit displays pictures of the American prisoners playing basketball, receiving adequate medical treatment and decorating their cells for Christmas. What it fails to depict is the harsh treatment the soldiers actually received (it's the best link we can do, everything else is blocked).

Vietnamese poster illustrating the lifestyle of the American Prisoner of War

Vietnamese doctor treating John McCain

The museum portrays a stark contrast between the French and Vietnamese rule of the prison. It emphasizes the French torturing and brutalizing Vietnamese political dissidents while it depicts the Vietnamese treating the wartime Americans pilots with dignity. This could not be further from the truth. Furthermore, the museum even cites the nickname “Hanoi Hilton” as proof that American inmates found the accommodations agreeable.

Stay posted for a full write-up of our adventures to the snake village and our rendezvous with Z this evening. Let us know!

A Junk worth our Dongs

The journey from Hanoi to Ha Long bay was marked by endless rice paddys, hundreds of water buffalo, swamplands and of course, motorcycle traffic.  The distance between Hanoi and Ha Long Bay is only 160 km, but the trip took close to four hours, as our luxury coach bus had to navigate through a single lane and very bumpy highway by swerving between other like minded tour groups en route to their respective “junks” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Junk_(ship)

Ha Long bay, which consists of a few thousand limestone islands that seem to be magically floating above a calm, clear water, is a UNESCO World Heritage site and one of the Seven Natural Wonders of Asia.  Neither pictures nor words could do the bay justice.  It truly is one of those breathtaking idyllic scenes that is a photographer's dream and honeymooners paradise.

Consequently, it is a staple in the itinerary of any tourists planning a trip to Southeast Asia, so we decided we had to explore it.  Hearing about sinking junks, overcrowded cabins, and scam artist tour operators, we were wary of booking an overnight tour in advance.  In order to avoid any potential issues, we splurged for the most luxurious option our Dong could buy us:  a 3 day, two night journey aboard the recently renovated Paloma cruise (www.palomacruise.com). 

The boat lived up to its tripadviser.com reviews.  We were treated like kings from the moment we were welcomed onto the boat with freshly squeezed mango juice and shown  our cabin, which featured a 270 degree view of the water from  the bow of the boat on the second floor.

Conducting our own muster drill aboard the Paloma

The boat had only 9 other groups and no two groups were from the same country.  We made friends with people from  South Africa, Australia, Pakistan, Spain, Canada, Britain, Dubai, China, and of course, Vietnam.

The cruise began with a 10 course welcome lunch and a breakdown of the itinerary for the three days by our tour guide, Long.  Lang was of course worried that there would not be nearly enough food on the boat for all of us, so in true American form, we overate our way through the gourmet meal.  As the entrees kept coming out, we realized once again that we would not have to resort to the Kashi Cereal  that Kaplan has been carrying around  in a plastic bag on a carabineer attached to his backpack since we left my house 1.5 weeks ago, at least until Cambodia.

The cruise charged $2.00 for beer and drinks, which is obscenely overpriced for Viet Nam.  Fortunately, the local people of the floating villages (literally they live on remote floating houses), capitalize on this egregious overpricing, by rowing up  the junks and selling pints of beer and water for a little better price—a quarter each.

After lunch, we explored the “Amazing Cave”, which lived up to its name.  The cave was formed over 300 million years ago and is home to thousands of stalactites and stalagmites as well as a nice escape from the equatorial sun.

Later in the day, we stopped in a picturesque and little cleaner swimming area (for the hundreds of years that the floating villagers have lived in Ha Long bay, they have had little choice but to use the bay as their toilet).  Only after being severely mocked by the Spaniards, we decided to jump from the 30 foot high sundeck into the warm bay.  See below for a Spanish rendition of an apparently cross-cultural childhood chicken noise and see our leap.  It looked a lot higher from our vantage point..

VIDEO TO COME WITH BETTER INTERNET ACCESS 

After cleaning up, we were given a brief Spring Roll cooking class by our incredible chefs before dinner. We then spent the late night hours squid fishing with bamboo rods under some distant lightning before Long informed us that there was a typhoon heading towards Ha Long and we would have to cut our cruise short and head back to shore the following afternoon. This morning, I woke at 6:00 AM to attend Tai Chi class on the sun deck.  Jeff and Steve slept in until 7 AM breakfast.

We then spent the morning exploring the floating village by Kayak and challenging the Spaniards to a doubles Kayak race.  Lang, and his rowing skills took the helm and rear and I took the front. The Spaniards immediately  got out to a clean 10 boat length lead after we somehow had three collisions, including one that put us at a dead stop, right out of the gate.  After a furious Lang let out a battle cry and demanded that we close the gap, we somehow miraculously came up from behind to surprise the Spaniards with a photo finish victory.  Think Jason Lesack in Beijing ’08. Jeff and his newfound South African partner Rufika, came in a respectable third.

Unfortunately our Ha Long bay cruise was cut short by a night because a Typhoon was creeping towards the area. After another 4 hour bus ride we made it back to Charming Hotel.

Tonight, we went to the best restaurant in Hanoi based off Frommer's travel guide.  Even after ordering three appetizers, eight entrees, nine beers, Vietnamese Coffees (an incredible concoction of egg yolk, coffee, and milk), and banana in coconut milk dessert, the bill still was less than $30 for the three of us.  The food was enough to feed a floating village and we impressed our waiter by eating through all of it. Lang decided to give our waiter a remarkable $6, 20% tip, and the waiter proceeded to show the entire staff.  We promised to come back soon and we’re confident we are the best customers they’ve ever had.

A three hour, $17 massage later and an all out sprint through the heaviest rain I have ever seen and we are back in Charming Hotel.  The Typhoon took out the power and the AC about 20 minutes ago and we sit here in darkness in our top floor ($30/a night) suite as the temperature seems to rise past 90 degrees.

This will presumably be posted later if we make it out alive.  (Just kidding moms, Typhoon downgraded to a Tropical Depression and we are perfectly safe.  Just really sweaty.)

Tomorrow back to exploring Hanoi with a couple of new friends from our cruise and then Karaoke with Z and her friends near her University at night.